First let me say, I was a late reader and I think I am a better reader for it. I’ve read a lot of books on the subject and nothing has convinced me that early reading is inherently better for the student. I am 100% OK with my kids being late readers or just learning to read at their own pace, be it early or late or somewhere in between. There are a lot of complex neurological things that have to happen for someone to be ready to read and trying to force the issue can be very damaging, I should know.
That said, my 9 year old hadn’t made any progress in reading in 2 years. He’d learned his letters about 3 times over and forgotten them as many times. He was frustrated and angry with himself and frankly, so was I. I was worried that I’d forever crippled him by teaching him wrong, by being too relaxed about reading, by not being relaxed enough about reading, by not intervening, by intervening too soon. The hamster wheel of anxiety in my head was whirling so fast and I knew I could no longer be this child’s reading teacher.
That is a sucky realization to come to when you are your child’s teacher. I had tried everything I could think of and it wasn’t working and my sweet baby boy thought he was stupid for not being able to read. My frustration and insecurity had rubbed off on him which is a really sucky realization to come to as a parent.
Then, I went to a baby shower…
This sweet woman sat next to me in a church decorated with more pink than anyone would think possible. We knew each other casually through church and she knew I helped run a homeschool group. She asked if I knew anyone looking for a reading tutor because she had time during the day and had no homeschool students. I nearly ripped the business card out of her hand.
So now my boy has been going to her for nearly 6 months. He’s reading at his grade level, he reads to his younger siblings every night, he reads every sign we pass on the street, he reads things over my shoulder while I’m meandering through facebook. He’s even reading a vintage car manual because he loves machines and wants to know more about them.
I. Can’t. Even…
My older daughter was a late reader too and sometime around when she turned 8, a switch flipped and she went from struggling through Dr. Seuss to reading the whole Harry Potter series in a year’s time. I kept waiting for that to happen with my son but he is a different kid, he needed help to flip the switch.
So, here is what I’m trying to remember from all of this.
- Needing assistance doesn’t make me a bad homeschool mom
- Its fortunate that we were able to both find and afford help when we needed it
- Needing assistance doesn’t make me a bad homeschool mom
- Repeat 1 and 3 as often as necessary
In our perfect, fantasy homeschool, we would be able to be all things to all of our kids and find it within ourselves to give them whatever it is that they need to be successful academically. That and our children would come skipping and singing joyfully to the dining room table every day looking forward to the beautiful lessons you prepared that would always go exactly to plan. Also, our pet unicorn would magically correct everyone’s spelling. As fun as that sounds, it’s not real life.
Sometimes there’s someone else who is just better at this than you are and that’s ok. Our reading tutor does this all day long. She’s taught hundreds of struggling readers and I will never be as good at this as she is. I don’t need to be, that’s not my job. My job is to do my best for my kids and sometimes that means finding them other people who can help them better than I can.
Messy Homeschool 