I know, I know. I keep harping on about self care. I’m on a kick here and I keep having more thoughts about it so bear with me.
I think real self care can only really be figured out by the person who needs it. That means that no faceless internet guru can tell you what you need to do to properly take care of yourself. Not even me. Shocking…I know.
But, just because it looks different for each person doesn’t mean it’s just going to be what you like doing. It’s not all relaxing with netflix and a bowl of popcorn (this is what I used to think my self care was, not kidding).
Figuring out what you need to do to really and truly become the best version of yourself takes a lot of honesty and deep, probing conversations with yourself and possibly a mental health professional. Frankly, self care kindof sucks sometimes.
My self care looks like getting up at 4:45 in the morning so I can go to a windowless room and let some impossibly muscular whipersnapper (yeah, I said it) tell me to lift things that are heavy until I want to die. Then he tells me to life them again. It sucks!
My self care looks like reading an actual book during our lunch break instead of chilling out with the gang from “Parks and Recreation” on Netflix. My current choice is “Last of the Mohican’s” by James Fennimore Cooper and it is difficult but I can feel my IQ rising as I read it.
Sometimes my self care is making myself go and run a few miles between bouts at the gym. It’s boring and I sometimes hate it but I do my best thinking when I run. For someone who has spent a lot of time numbing out her own thoughts because they didn’t feel good, finding something that helps me process them is HUGE.
My self care also looks like cleaning my own house instead of paying someone to do it for me. The less said about that the better.
My point is that self care is not all pedicures and bubble baths. Those may be a component but as any mother knows, taking care of an organism means giving it what it needs, not always what it wants. This is harder when you are the organism in question but it is worth it. You are worth that kind of care.
When you do the hard work, when you give yourself what you need instead of what you want, it lets you know that you are as important as every other member of your household. You matter. That may not seem like much but for those of us in the low self esteem boat, it’s mind blowing.
So, my only advice is to take a long, honest, zero Instagram filtered look at your life and take notice of what the organism that is you really needs. Do you really need the chocolate, (Some times the correct answer to that one is YES) or do you need a conversation with your husband to deal with that thing that’s bothering you. Do you need the extra hour (or four) of sleep (maybe you do need the sleep, I don’t know your life) or do you need the exercise? What will you wish you had done when you are 80?
For right now, my self care is going to look like going to sleep before midnight. I really want to stay up until 2am eating popcorn and watching “The Office” but I’m going to the gym in the morning where the whippersnapper will tell me to lift more heavy things and if I’m sleepy, I’ll drop them. Possibly on my own foot or head. I’m going to choose now to mother myself, to give myself what I actually need instead of what I want.
I’ll leave you with this parting gift. A picture of me back squatting 135lbs last winter. Can you even handle the sexy?!?
Messy Homeschool 